A SHAMAN

"A SHAMAN ... KNOWS THERE IS A SEA OF CONSCIOUNESS THAT IS UNIVERSAL EVEN THOUGH WE EACH PERCEIVE IT IT FROM OUR OWN SHOES, AN AWARENESS AND A WORLD THAT WE ALL SHARE, THAT CAN BE EXPERIENCED BY EVERY LIVING BEING, YET IS SELDOM SEEN BY ANY."



(VILLOLDO AND JENDRESEN)



The four winds

Saturday, April 08, 2006

WHO?

It was not just because of the pictures I saw in an old family álbum. I do think about changes very often; the album was only a good reason for keeping these thoughts in my mind for hours. Whose were those smiling faces, showing in so many different ways, as if living several stories? I knew it was me, I could recognize those existing moments, just as an actress can remember unforgetable roles. But where was I, as I feel myself now? Not in those faces and smiles. Now wait a minute: I still smile a lot; I´m not a sad person, if that´s maybe what you might have understood, but, I simply cannot see myself in those pictures. What I see in fact is a parade of times gone by, with their typical characters and clothes.
Some of them remind me of the post-war, for the ample skirts, others have the scent of the golden years and many others bring up the memories of Mary Quant and Dior. Holy Goodness, how many lives will I still have to live? How much will I still have to learn (and forget) in my time? How many faces will I have to show a world that demands so many changes … I remember when I learned to use a computer, how much joy and relief to think that I could do it like everybody else! Now I hear the news about technology that will enable us to have so many things and I feel afraid.
Being old is no problem for me. Old age is lighter, more childish and less responsible. What scares me is the fear of being outdated and having to go on, just like an insane actor who keeps on looking for a character that doesn´t exist …

2 comments:

simah said...

hi..

just *be* ..isnt that simpler?

thewailer said...

hey, I think the same too...and I have no time be old :)