Oh, Camilla!
It was not for the everlasting love that you can proudly expose for everybody to see.
It was not for being loved by a prince.
It was not, either, for having rivaled such charming a princess.
It was not, I must add, for becoming the king´s wife in the future.
It was for Cornwall.
That was the most precious gift you could have been given. That someone could have been given. Sorry to say that the news about the title was a shock to me. I always thought of Cornwall as something magic, a place where my soul could meet other souls and make it a private rendez-vous for dreamers. A place where I could still talk to Daphne (we´re close friends) and hear her stories. A scenery to enchant my eyes and take my mind to distant plagues.
I hope you deserve the title. And if you ever go there, and, being there, you take a long walk in the morning, try to find the castle of my dreams: it may be old by now, a bit decayed but still standing. Still there. Please don´t touch it. Leave as it is. You see, my dreams are sensitive …
It was for Cornwall that I envied you so much.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Sunday, April 10, 2005
THE GIRL WHO WAS GOING AWAY
THE GIRL WHO WAS GOING AWAY
He didnt´mean to overhear the conversation. The girl had arrived some time before and was talking to his daughter , both of them sitting on the sofa in the living room. He didn´t know who she was and he wouldn´t have even paid attention if it weren´t for the melancoly, yet detailed tone in which she spoke. There are times when your interest is aroused without a clear recognition of why - it may have been the tone of her voice or else the facts she exposed.
The girl was saying that she was leaving Brazil, that she was going to New York, where a friend was going to help her in her first days. Because she was not qualified to get a job in Brazil she decided that her only way out was the airport. She had managed to get the money from her brother, the only person who was interested in the adventure. " What about the documents, the passport?", his daughter asked. " There´s a man who takes care of everything, for five hundred dollars - work papers in Brazil, salary receipts, an address of a hotel in the United States, some tips on how to fill out the form, everything. He says it´s safe, I have to try."
The girl was goodlooking. The man´s daughter seemed worried. " But, don´t you think it´s dangerous to travel with false documents? What if you happen to spend all the money your brother gave you ...?" The girl answered all the questions very calmly; she was tragically calm like someone who has nothing else to consider. "The man is trustworthy, he has done it for many people. All you got to do is to have the five hundred dollars. If you don´t have the five hundred there´s no deal, he won´t do it for less. My brother bought me the ticket and also gave me the five hundred because he knows he can get rid of me for good. All I need now is to have some money to spend in the first days, before beginning to work there."
" Do you think you can find work right away?" " I think so. You know what my friend told me? She said that since she´s been there she´s never failed to have money for her expenses. She says it can be very cold, you have to walk a long way to save, but it´s worth it. It will be like that for me, too. I can´t stay here the way I´m living. I can´t afford to pay for a place to live. I live at the moment in a lady´s house who lets me stay there for free, but I can´t have a bed of my own. Very often I spend the night sitting on a chair, waiting for someone to get up so I can rest in an empty bed."
The other girl was sympathetic. " What if you don´t adapt, what if it doesn´t work out?" The girl went on : "It will work out. My friend said I can even find a husband. She did. She got married there, can you believe it?"
That´s when he heard his daughter buy a leather top for ten dollars. There was little to sell : just a few leather tops and golden sandals, but, according to the girl, it would probably be enough for her first few sandwiches. The man felt restless and uncomfortable continuing the work he was doing even after the girl said goodbye and left. Her words remained there in the living room, repeating themselves like a sad song. He turned on the TV and fetched a book; he always did that when he turned the TV on.
Many times he asked about the girl. Each time he feared he would be told that she had come back, that she had failed. After some months he confirmed, with great relief, that she hadn´t been heard of anymore. It was very likely that she had managed to stay there, just like she wished. That was good., very good. Maybe she could really be happy there. Maybe she could even find a husband. And maybe, one day, he would finally rid her words from the living room ...
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He didnt´mean to overhear the conversation. The girl had arrived some time before and was talking to his daughter , both of them sitting on the sofa in the living room. He didn´t know who she was and he wouldn´t have even paid attention if it weren´t for the melancoly, yet detailed tone in which she spoke. There are times when your interest is aroused without a clear recognition of why - it may have been the tone of her voice or else the facts she exposed.
The girl was saying that she was leaving Brazil, that she was going to New York, where a friend was going to help her in her first days. Because she was not qualified to get a job in Brazil she decided that her only way out was the airport. She had managed to get the money from her brother, the only person who was interested in the adventure. " What about the documents, the passport?", his daughter asked. " There´s a man who takes care of everything, for five hundred dollars - work papers in Brazil, salary receipts, an address of a hotel in the United States, some tips on how to fill out the form, everything. He says it´s safe, I have to try."
The girl was goodlooking. The man´s daughter seemed worried. " But, don´t you think it´s dangerous to travel with false documents? What if you happen to spend all the money your brother gave you ...?" The girl answered all the questions very calmly; she was tragically calm like someone who has nothing else to consider. "The man is trustworthy, he has done it for many people. All you got to do is to have the five hundred dollars. If you don´t have the five hundred there´s no deal, he won´t do it for less. My brother bought me the ticket and also gave me the five hundred because he knows he can get rid of me for good. All I need now is to have some money to spend in the first days, before beginning to work there."
" Do you think you can find work right away?" " I think so. You know what my friend told me? She said that since she´s been there she´s never failed to have money for her expenses. She says it can be very cold, you have to walk a long way to save, but it´s worth it. It will be like that for me, too. I can´t stay here the way I´m living. I can´t afford to pay for a place to live. I live at the moment in a lady´s house who lets me stay there for free, but I can´t have a bed of my own. Very often I spend the night sitting on a chair, waiting for someone to get up so I can rest in an empty bed."
The other girl was sympathetic. " What if you don´t adapt, what if it doesn´t work out?" The girl went on : "It will work out. My friend said I can even find a husband. She did. She got married there, can you believe it?"
That´s when he heard his daughter buy a leather top for ten dollars. There was little to sell : just a few leather tops and golden sandals, but, according to the girl, it would probably be enough for her first few sandwiches. The man felt restless and uncomfortable continuing the work he was doing even after the girl said goodbye and left. Her words remained there in the living room, repeating themselves like a sad song. He turned on the TV and fetched a book; he always did that when he turned the TV on.
Many times he asked about the girl. Each time he feared he would be told that she had come back, that she had failed. After some months he confirmed, with great relief, that she hadn´t been heard of anymore. It was very likely that she had managed to stay there, just like she wished. That was good., very good. Maybe she could really be happy there. Maybe she could even find a husband. And maybe, one day, he would finally rid her words from the living room ...
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Sunday, April 03, 2005
ONE OF THOSE DAYS
One of those days
No, don´t make me laugh, I´m not speaking about menstruation, I´m just trying to say that I feel awful. Nanny left home in the morning with my son and my daughter-in-law; they went to a friend´s house and she was bitten by their son-of-a-bitch-of-a-dog for the second time! The first time happened when Nanny was five months old – she was sitting in her carriage when the door of the apartment opened and, without so much, she was attacked. Today, nine months later, the dog´s owner decided to let him walk in the living room and say hello to the guests. He only took a few seconds to reach Nanny´s legs.
The lady who owns the dog says: “Oh, he´s just kidding! He likes children so much!” Yes, I told my son, that is true. He likes children as I like chicken or Italian food… At this moment I hate her. My son said that Nanny cried so much and was very frightened. She loves dogs and she treats them so well … She doesn´t know that dogs are like people – some of them are bad guys and act like bandidos.
The owners are the ones who should think about it. They should be able to face the truth about their pets. Dogs, I must repeat, are like humans – they have different characters, different attitudes and most of the times, a background to influence them.The lady in question is the one to be blamed, I think. Even her mother has a broken finger caused by the dog she thinks is the sweetest little thing on earth. Will she ever understand that her pet is not welcome at all?
As to Nanny, she will never go back there, and I´m eager to say that aloud, for many people to hear. Oh, I´m sorry. I´m mad at that woman. And today is Sunday …
No, don´t make me laugh, I´m not speaking about menstruation, I´m just trying to say that I feel awful. Nanny left home in the morning with my son and my daughter-in-law; they went to a friend´s house and she was bitten by their son-of-a-bitch-of-a-dog for the second time! The first time happened when Nanny was five months old – she was sitting in her carriage when the door of the apartment opened and, without so much, she was attacked. Today, nine months later, the dog´s owner decided to let him walk in the living room and say hello to the guests. He only took a few seconds to reach Nanny´s legs.
The lady who owns the dog says: “Oh, he´s just kidding! He likes children so much!” Yes, I told my son, that is true. He likes children as I like chicken or Italian food… At this moment I hate her. My son said that Nanny cried so much and was very frightened. She loves dogs and she treats them so well … She doesn´t know that dogs are like people – some of them are bad guys and act like bandidos.
The owners are the ones who should think about it. They should be able to face the truth about their pets. Dogs, I must repeat, are like humans – they have different characters, different attitudes and most of the times, a background to influence them.The lady in question is the one to be blamed, I think. Even her mother has a broken finger caused by the dog she thinks is the sweetest little thing on earth. Will she ever understand that her pet is not welcome at all?
As to Nanny, she will never go back there, and I´m eager to say that aloud, for many people to hear. Oh, I´m sorry. I´m mad at that woman. And today is Sunday …
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